Wednesday, May 28, 2008

How to make life not suck

I get so damn depressed from time to time. Most of the time it's because of my job. I love every aspect of my life except this God Damned job. There are only a few aspects of this job that I hate though. But they are huge aspects such as:

- I hate dealing with these asshole customers
- I hate dealing with my asshole boss
- I hate not having anything in common with any other co-workers and therefore no the social aspect of this place sucks.

I caught myself typing "How to make life not suck" in a Google search a minute ago. Partly because I'm having a shitty day. Partly because I'm bored and have nothing better to browse on the internet. Then I started thinking "How bad does my life have to suck to ask Google for answers?"

It seems like every day that I wake up with a bright and chipper attitude ready to face a nice Spring/Summer day. Then about 8:15 a.m., I'm ready to say fuck it all and quit. All the life has been sucked out of me by these heartless fucks who think my sole purpose on this planet is to fix their fuck ups. I'm tired of it and need change.

But then it's back to the same dilemma I've fought with for the past 5-6 years. Where do I go? It's not like another job in the IT market will do me any good. Unless it's with good people that I can call friends and just have a blast, I'm not interested. Computers fucking suck to work with for a living. That's where my skills are though.

I'm pretty sure it's not the job and more the fact that I HAVE to do certain things for certain people or my welfare is in jeopardy. I hate being told what to do. I guess I could go off on my own and do the self-employment thing, but only certain aspects of that interest me. The rest is just more work. However, I could choose my co-workers and my hours more easily than I can now. I'm also in a bad area for this line of work. But I love this area.

This whole rant is the reason why I want to see if I can be disciplined enough to grind out hundreds of thousands of hands a year. Sitting on my ass, taking bad beats, and wondering if I'm giong to make enough money to cover the rent sounds way more appealing than sitting on my ass wondering which dick head customer is going to call with a crisis today.

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