Why I don't play blogger tournaments

I never play in blogger tournaments and here is why. 90% of the players are in it for the friendly banter and play. The stakes are low and designed for fun. However, the other 10% of the players spoil it for me. I’m not sure if this PokerSlut tour or whatever is a blogger thing, but I know a few bloggers played in it. I saw the tweet from OhCaptain and checked it out. Limit Holdem! My favorite form of poker. Poo flinging at its finest.

Now I’m not a LHE specialist, but I do have my own style that seems to work and has worked well for going on 3-4 years. I’m not much of a tourney player, but I do play in the occasional LHE tourney when I find it. I have taken down several in my career. So I figure my LAGtarded ways would be great in this blogger tourney. And I was right. I succeeded at tilting my first table with my play. But it was all in good fun. Then this hand happened at the final table:

Full Tilt Poker Game #16056750288: PokerSlut Tour XVI (111159087), Table 1 - 200/400 - Limit Hold’em - 22:34:31 ET - 2009/11/15



Seat 1: Julius_Goat (2,270)



Seat 3: Zerbet (2,250)



Seat 4: stpetebeach (7,100)



Seat 5: OhCaptain (5,000)



Seat 6: wvapoker (290)



Seat 7: SmBoatDrinks (3,125)



Seat 9: WiredAces77 (3,965)



Julius_Goat posts the small blind of 100



Zerbet posts the big blind of 200



The button is in seat #9



*** HOLE CARDS ***



Dealt to WiredAces77 [2d 4d]



stpetebeach folds



OhCaptain folds



wvapoker raises to 290, and is all in



SmBoatDrinks folds



WiredAces77 calls 290



Zerbet: double you tee eff



Julius_Goat: gg light



Julius_Goat calls 190



lightning36 (Observer): later, mates



Zerbet calls 90



*** FLOP *** [2h 6h 9d]



Julius_Goat checks



Zerbet checks



WiredAces77 checks



*** TURN *** [2h 6h 9d] [Ac]



Julius_Goat checks



Zerbet checks



WiredAces77 checks



*** RIVER *** [2h 6h 9d Ac] [2s]



Julius_Goat checks



Zerbet checks



WiredAces77 bets 400



OhCaptain: later



Zerbet: sigh



Julius_Goat has 15 seconds left to act



SmBoatDrinks: gg



Julius_Goat folds



Zerbet: betting into a dry side pot? really?



Zerbet has 15 seconds left to act



WiredAces77: really



Zerbet folds



Uncalled bet of 400 returned to WiredAces77



*** SHOW DOWN ***



WiredAces77 shows [2d 4d] three of a kind, Twos



wvapoker mucks



WiredAces77 wins the pot (1,160) with three of a kind, Twos



wvapoker stands up



*** SUMMARY ***



Total pot 1,160 | Rake 0



Board: [2h 6h 9d Ac 2s]



Seat 1: Julius_Goat (small blind) folded on the River



Seat 3: Zerbet (big blind) folded on the River



Seat 4: stpetebeach didn’t bet (folded)



Seat 5: OhCaptain didn’t bet (folded)



Seat 6: wvapoker mucked [8c 8h] - two pair, Eights and Twos



Seat 7: SmBoatDrinks didn’t bet (folded)



Seat 9: WiredAces77 (button) showed [2d 4d] and won (1,160) with three of a kind, Twos

and the resulting chat:





OhCaptain: That would be something I’d bet into a dry side pot



Zerbet: why? no respect for the others in the hand, or just unfamiliar with the game in general?



WiredAces77: dude it’s a donk game



OhCaptain: Because many players would call to seeWiredAces77: anyone would have bet that

WiredAces77: take it easy and have fun



Zerbet: well, some HANDS are certainly donk hands, I’ll give you that./



Zerbet: there is no one left at this table that would “call to see that” but it’s good to know you dont know thatWiredAces77: stfu



WiredAces77: and blow me d-bag



Zerbet: wow, how do you find the time to play poker, doesn’t it take you away from your job ghost writing for Ms. Manners? Zerbet: what the %!$& dude, for someone calling “donk game” you seem a tad… tense.



WiredAces77: i’m not the one berating peoples play in a $5 LHE tourney



Zerbet: wasn’t berating your play, just one specific bet, but I can see how you would be defensive about it.



Zerbet: math, it’s not just for breakfast



etc etc etc… this retardedness went on for several hands. And then when I bubbled the tourney, dude stuck around and gave some snide comment about that being sweet (I busted him a few hands earlier). Classy.



Anyway: I checked this douche’s Sharkscope and saw a whopping $3 avg buyin with a 4% ROI and a total profit of $117. It’s starting to make sense now. And here’s the PTR data for this douche:











Feel free to check my stats d-bag. Feel free to check my stats even though I don’t play on FTP much (except for some donkey tournaments and bonus whoring).



I have no clue who this Zerbet fucker is, but he wouldn’t let it go. What kind of fool checks behind on that river card? Anyway, fuck that crybaby. He’s part of the 10% and pretty much spoiled my evening. Remind you, this is a friendly $5 tournament! Get a life dude.

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Don’t forget about the Loose Change Freeroll every Sunday. $5000 Guaranteed!

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Making up for last week

I barely played any poker last week. I spent the entire week with a head full of medicine, sitting on my ass, suffering. I just wasn't in the right mind for poker. I tried playing some donkey stakes SnG's and pretty much got bored/tired after the first 5 hands of each. So that didn't help the bankroll any. This week, I'm going to try to double down and put in 40 solid hours of table play. No excuses. I have been progressively feeling better every day and after sleeping like a rock last night, I think I'm healed up and ready for action.

I also just found out that my local casino in Cross Lanes, WV has changed from 10 handed games to 9 handed games. That might not seem like a big deal to you folks, but it's great news for me. 1 less person means I can open things up just a little bit more. It also means more elbow room at the table. So if the guy next to me smells like a foot, I don't have to be crammed up against him. I can distance myself somewhat.

I was also checking out the 2+2 forums about the local casino and saw an interesting post about and interesting person that plays there frequently. Let's just say the last time I was there, this person had on a trucker hat, flannel shirt, blue jeans with the beer belly hanging over the waist line. It had long hair.... and tits. According to some it was one of those "Transformers". I just couldn't figure out if it was a dude transforming to a chick or vice versa.   

Sickness: Week #2

I've been sick since late last Friday night. I was hoping I would magically feel better this week since it's the start of a new week. But nope, I rolled out of bed, tried to get the day rolling, and it just didn't happen. I don't think it's a Swine Flu, but what the hell do I know? The only reason I don't think that is because I never really had a bad fever. The rest of the symptoms were/are definitely present though.

Don't get me wrong, I feel much better than I did 1 week ago. But I still feel like ass. I'm all congested, still have periods of body aches, and just feel out of it. I've tried to rectify the situation by avoiding any bad foods. When I eat right, I feel good. This has helped me get through the days, but it's exactly making me feel healthy.

Hopefully I'm at the tail end of this thing, because it has really kicked my ass. I haven't been able to sit and grind poker like I should be doing either which hurts my wallet as well. Poor poor pitiful me :)

Fire Bill Stewart NOW!

OK, you're down by 7 points with nearly 12 minutes left in the game plus all your timeouts. It's 3rd and 9 from your own 24 yard line. What do you do? Run a quick dive up the middle? Nope? Coach Stewart did. So that didn't work and it's 4th and 8. What do you do now? Any sane person would kick a field goal. Too bad WVU's head coach Bill Stewart is mentally retarded.

Tomorrow the headlines will probably be squawking about the blown instant replay in the 1st half. Clearly a fumble from any WVU fan's perspective, but hey it is what it is, we can't help that. What we can do is put our heads down and play harder. Which is exactly what the WVU players did. Blown calls can't be helped.

What can be helped, though is the play calling. Believe in your kids. Give them an opportunity to win. Coach Stewart you failed your players, your fans, and pretty much the entire state of WV. And while we are are at it, aren't you the special teams coach? How do we get not 1 but 2 illegal formation penalties on the same kickoff? Jesus fucking Christ you're giving me an ulcer!!!

I'm calling for the immediate termination of Bill Stewart. He's just not capable of being a division I coach. Enough said. He would be more suited being an assistant coach for some pee wee league. There's a man on the sidelines that can get shit done. We don't need to look very far for a replacement. This guy is a world-class coach. I am formally recommending John "Doc" Holliday for the job as WVU's new head coach. Anyone else with me here?

Poker Grub

Am I the only person rooting for Grubby to go on an epic heater and take over the world? For an obviously problem gambler, this guy has some shitty luck.

My November 9 Profiles (after the fact)

I never get to know the main event final table contestants until after the fact. Usually it's months after the WSOP has ended because I just don't watch much tournament poker on TV, however, I have watched a lot of the WSOP coverage this year and followed the final table last night. Here is what I think about all the players involved starting from 9th place all the way down to the final pairing.

9th place: James Akenhead - I really repsect this guys play and wish he had more chips at the final table. He did triple up at one point to get his head above water, only to get coolered when his KK ran into AA.

8th place: Kevin Schaffel - Seriously, was this a real guy? He pretty much slipped in and out of the WSOP under the radar. I have no idea what the guy looks like, how he plays, or if he really even exists. His AA ran into Buchman's KK only to have a King on the flop and King on the turn kick him square in the junk.

7th place: Phil Ivey - The baddest man on the planet. Beliedat!

6th place: Steve Begleiter - Begs..This guy just rubs me the wrong way. Not because he's some Bear Stearns executive or whatever. I could give 2 shits about that. But during the WSOP, he was in a big pot against Akenhead. Akenhead got the best of him and after that hand, he reached over and slapped Akenhead in the back..HARD. Akenhead refrained from saying anything. Begleiter knew what he had done wrong and tried to pretend it was "nice hand" gesture, but I'm not buying it. ESPN ignored this antic. The dude just stayed wound up the entire WSOP, ran like the sun, and he just looks funny.

5th place: Jeff Shulman - Shulman was going for the grunge look this year. He's a solid tight/semi-aggressive player. I didn't give him much of a chance to win this tournament because a.) he was getting coaching from Mr. Weak/Tight (aka Phil Hellmuth) and b.) see reason "a".

4th place: Eric Buchman - Another guy who quietly made his way to the final table. Buchman seemed to accumulate all his chips during the late stages of the WSOP. He was the chipleader for quite some time, but didn't really take advantage. There was a good chunk of time when Ivey and Cada were severely short-stacked. Buchman could have basically gotten away with murder at the table. None of the mid to large stacks would have called his raises without the VERY TOP of their range until after one or both of the short stacks were eliminated. Personally I thought he ABC'd it too much and squandered his chance at the bracelet. But WTF do I know? I'm just the low limit pro barely grinding out my mortgage payment each month.

3rd place: Antoine Saout - The most impressive player at the table. I think he was easily the 2nd best player behind Ivey. Saout mixed up his game quite a bit and made life very difficult on the players around him. When he gained the chiplead, I figured the tournament was his to lose. Unfortunately, he couldn't avoid that luckbox Cada's run.

Final 2: Darvin Moon - He's a logger, a donkey, evidently a degenerate gambler, and just an all-around nice guy. I have given Moon shit for a few days, but just because I'd love to run like this guy one time.

Final 2: Joe Cada - I'm impressed how the guy went from having 3 big blinds left in his stack with 7 people left to being in the final 2. Evidently Cada is an online pro. But he's one of those 2+2 contingent pros I guess. These guys should get "Douchebag" tattoo'd on their foreheads. Cada himself did nothing to rub me the wrong way, but his fans made him look awful bad IMO.

WSOP Final Table Madness

First of all, I'd like to thank AlCantHang, TaoPauly, Change100, and F-Train for providing me with updates and endless entertainment well into the night and the morning. You guys deserve a beer or twenty after the day you just put in.

The 2009 WSOP final table was just plain silly last night. I tried starting from hand #1 and following it all the way down to the final 2. I saw the first 2 eliminations. Then I woke up from nodding off at the keyboard around 3:00 a.m. and there were still 7 left. FML, I'm going to bed. I'll leave this shit in the hands of the reporters I mentioned above. I jumped out of bed around 7:00 a.m. to check the progress of the tournament. Surely someone has been eliminated. I was in a Nyquil haze, but I'm almost positive there were still 7 left!!!!!!!

There was no doubting I was pulling for Phil Ivey in this one. Him and Tom "Durrrr" Dwan are the 2 sickest players on the planet. I was heartbroken to find out that Ivey's AK was defeated by Darvin "Run Like the Sun" Moon's AQ. Gay. Several reporters (not the good ones I listed above) gave Phil Ivey some flack because he didn't do his exit interview. WTF guys? If you had been playing poker for 12-15 straight hours, on the short stack the ENTIRE TIME, and then finally get your money in good just to get sucked out on, not to mention all the hounding Ivey gets on a daily basis, would you want to stop and chat with the media after that bustout? Fuck that, leave the man alone. I'll d his interview for him. Media: How do you feel about your bustout Phil? Phil (thru me): I want to stab Darvin "RUN LIKE THE FUCKIN SUN" Moon in the eye with a spork! and </interview>

Anyway, the smoke has cleared and it's down to Darvin Moon and Joe Cada, heads up for the 2009 WSOP main event title. Darvin Moon qualified in a casino just a couple hours from my house. It's no secret that I wasn't rooting for him at all though. The man ran like the sun for 8 straight days to get here. It will be obvious tomorrow night just how bad of a player he actually is (including a horrendous 3 bet where he folded to a 4 bet getting about 8 to 1 on his money). However, I will be rooting for him because Joe Cada might not be a douchebag, but he's got plenty of friends that are. He seems to have cornered the market on douchey drunken fratboy friends. Some of these guys were ejected from the P&T theatre for their drunken antics. How fucking drunk do you have to be to get kicked out of Vegas sporting events? Seriously guys.

I wasn't personally there to witness any of this, but I can only imagine. There's someone every year that brings the d-bag friends to fill the seats at the WSOP. Don't be that guy. Your friends will just make you look like an ass on ESPN.

TV

I love television shows. I love them much more than movies. You have an entire season to develop your characters and construct elaborate plotlines and what not. TV is great. That being said, my list of shows I'm watching these days has gotten out of hand. Let's go through my list of shows that I'm watching NOW.

The Biggest Loser - Lame, but it keeps me motivated to eat right and exercise. If you haven't seen the show, just imagine 10 fat people crying for 2 hours straight and you pretty much have the gist of it.

Sons of Anarchy - I wasn't going to ever watch this show. Then there was a lull in all TV programming for a while towards the end fo the summer, So I figured I would try it. And of course I liked it because it was a FX show. I will probably quit watching once they kill Opie. Jax should be dead already. He douches up that shows very much bad.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - One of the funniest shows on TV period.

Dexter - Dexter Morgan is still up to his old tricks. Being a Dad and a serial killer at the same time is tough. Dexter is a brilliant show and one of my favorites of all time.

The Ultimate Fighter - I've gotta have my UFC fix. And they keep threatening to bring back Kimbo every week :) Personally I'm not a fan of the heavyweights, but I like TUF. I think TUF has listened to my appeals to focus more on fighting than in-house hijinks. The first few seasons resembled The Real World more than a fighting show. These days you get to see some in-house antics and such, but for the most part they focus on the fights and hyping the fights. Rampage rules too BTW.

Parks & Recreation - Basically it's The Office but outside. Funny as shit.

The League - Another one I wasn't going to watch... until I heard the Birthday song:

I'll probably give it a couple more episodes before I commit to the show, but I almost pissed myself laughing at episode #1.

The Big Bang Theory - Dr. Sheldon Cooper FTW. I love this show, but I'm a geek. Ever notice Penny is hotter in some episodes than others?

V (2009) - OK, had to give this hyped up POS a try. You know what? I thoroughly enjoyed it. Again, maybe a couple more episodes before committing to it.

Friday Night Lights - One of the best High School dramas ever made. Probably ranks 2nd behind Freaks & Geeks for me. FNL is like the step-child that is far more superior in every way to the other children, yet he remains unloved, beaten, and abused. NBC has tried to kill off FNL for years now. First by putting it into the Friday night slot of doom. Now they just said fuck it and aren't even showing it on cable. I'm sure this seemed like a brilliant idea in some board room. "Make it DirectTV and fans will have to subscribe to directTV! Our affiliate revenue with DTV will go thru the roof!!!". In reality though it's more like this "I don't have DirectTV, so I'm going to pirate every episode".

That's all (I think). The only other thing I'm looking forward to is MORE RESCUE ME AND MORE LOST! That is all.

Running good, grinding mediocre

I've been running well the past 2 days. Both days started off with a few hundred hands of break-even play followed by a nice upswing. Day 1 could have been better, but I forced myself to play that extra hour and pretty much got decimated in that hour. Day 2, once I started going up, it stayed that way until I logged off. I'm playing good poker right now and reaping the benefits. I've been playing way more hours lately too, but still not up to what I would call a full work week. I don't see how these guys play 20-24 tables for 10-12 hours a day. I focus so hard on each hand, that my brain is fried after 3-4 hours of straight play and I need a break. I try to avoid auto-pilot at all costs. Thats why if you ever sit in on of my games, you might notice I'm straight up LAGging it up on on table, while playing more weak/tight at another. Different table conditions warrant different styles of play IMO. Also, once I "catch" myself auto-piloting, that's when I turn things off and go eat a snack or something. Or, in my case yesterday, when you start making hero calls with 4 high (don't ask) it's time to shut 'er down.

I have been trying to table select more often, but with playing during the day a lot, the tables aren't really full of what I would call "normal fish". Instead, I've been targeting TAGfish. These are the guys who play a TAG style, but really don't have a very good understanding of how we make money in poker (or at least how I make money in poker). Long story short, they fold too much. Pussies.

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I haven't watched any of the 2009 WSOP coverage. I need to sit down and catch up with the action one day. But the whole WSOP/ESPN "let's give the d'bags the airtime" mentality pretty much ruined TV poker for me. When does High Stakes Poker start again? Anyway, I'll be rooting for Phil Ivey to take this bitch down. He deserves it more than anyone else at that table. Plus he's pretty bad ass.

Day 1 of uber-grinding = failure

I'm already running 5 buyings below EV this month. FML.

I grinded for about 2 hours yesterday. I was getting aggravated as shit because I was getting my money in good left and right and getting hosed. I shut it down after about 1500 hands. I took off to the grocery store to pick up a few things and clear my head. I was gonna pick back up and play some more after that. Well, on the way home, directly in front of my next door neighbor's house, a stupid fuckin deer decided to prance its big ass in front of my car. We locked eyes at about the time her dumb ass flipped straight up in the air and landed in the other lane. I didn't stick around to see if it survived. My guess is yes, but she wasn't liking it. I managed to get slowed down to maybe 15-20 mph before we locked horns (<--- see what I did there? it was a doe, so no antlers). Anyway I was so damned mad because it broke the grill on the front of my car. So thats my excuse for not grinding several more hours last night.

Never fear though, I'm super motivated today. I'm already up and at 'em today. I've had a nice nutritious breakfast and a little bit of exercise in the form of picking up trash scattered about my yard. Seems either dogs or raccoons got in my trash last night. FML. But I'm in good spirits. It's bowling night. It's cold outside today. I'm just going to watch last night's episode of Dexter and then grind until time to leave. Depending on my state of mind, I might squeeze in a few more hands after bowling. I should get a solid 6-8 hours of play today. If I had better drugs I could do this. Anyone know how addictive Adderall is :) ?

And with that I leave you with some video footage of some friends I went to school with jamming at the train station:

How about 1 more .... cleaning up an OCMS cover for some kindergarteners:

The Electric Kool Aid Acid Test Song

Poor Taters | MySpace Video

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Don't forget about the Loose Change Freeroll every Sunday. $5000 Guaranteed!

To join in on the action and get a great rakeback percentage, check out the Donk @ Life Rakeback page

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Don't forget about the Loose Change Freeroll every Sunday. $5000 Guaranteed!

To join in on the action and get a great rakeback percentage, check out the Donk @ Life Rakeback page