Sunday, November 27, 2011

So I met this chick...

Went out with some friends bar hopping the other night. I actually met this girl before, but this was my first time actually having a conversation with her. I knew she was a computer geek like myself. However after a couple hours of chit chat I realized this chick has her shit together.

She has graduated from Berklee College of Music, has worked for MTV, knows way too much about artificial intelligence, has lived in Boston, New York, and now San Francisco. Hands down one of the most interesting people I've met in a long time.

Anyway after a fun time the other night I realized this chick is basically the person I'd love to be. She's a free spirit and loves life. She doesn't just talk about things she wants to do. She just does them. I need to be more like her. I have all these things I'd like to do in life but usually I get in my comfort zone and just plant my ass there. It's really a handicap.

I'm going to use my new friend as a model for my own self improvement. I even let her know that. She was flattered and even offered to help me out any way she could. Including putting me up in San Francisco if I ever got the balls to move out there.

A couple other friends told me they felt dumb after talking to her. I told them I'm in love :). Not really though (even though I'd tap that without thinking twice). I just felt intrigued and motivated to continue my self improvement.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Easy game

$1400 and some change in that stack (front left stack which you can't see is a stack of $25 green chips). I went on a rampage at the $1/2 tables yesterday. I also hit quad jacks which won me a high hand bonus for the room. This was a free entry into the $20K tournament next weekend ($235 entry). I sold the entry for $200.

The live-game bankroll is getting pretty flush these days. It won't be long before I'm ripping up the $2/5 games.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Do what you love.

Mark Cuban is pretty much a nut, but he's a rich nut. So I read his blog. The other day he reposted this article. Being unemployed and a lot less wealthy than I used to be, I took it to heart. I want to do what I love. But what is it that I love to do? Well, I like to gamble. So why not look for something in the gambling industry...even if it was a piss poor job on the ground floor.

So I just landed a job in the gambling industry...not quite on the ground floor, but I'll be making about 1/2 what I made at my old job. I'll be managing a video slot machine parlor. I'll have 4 employees under me. I get to make my own schedule, but I can be called out at times to pay big winners when there isn't enough money in the safe to cover the hit. Basically these machines are multi-game slot machines that are hooked up through the WV Lottery. On my days off, I still have to show up at some point and empty the machines and make the safe drops, depending on how much money is in the safe.

My main objective in looking for a job such as this is to gain as much knowledge as possible to open my own establishment. It's the perfect opportunity to get an idea of what all needs to be done to make one of these things successful. This one handles about $700K/month in bets and probably nets $50-60K a month after payouts. The state gets 52% of that money and some of the machines belong to a vending company that gets 24%. The store gets the remaining 24%, but there are 2 machines where they get 48% because they own those machines. Despite everyone seeming to have a hand on the profit, there's still decent money in the businesses because of the low overhead to run them. Multiply that by 5 locations and the owners are doing well. I want to be an owner one day soon and this is my ticket to learn the business.

Given that I'm the manager, I get to make my own schedule. I'm supposed to schedule myself for about 36 hours and then with being called in to pay big winners, I will end up with about 40 hours a week. I plan to work this job and still play poker a couple days a week to supplement my income. I can work around my poker schedule as needed. Or play poker around my work schedule.

I'm excited about the job even though it doesn't pay all that much. I'll be doing something new and being around gambling gets my blood pumping (even though I avoid slots like the plague). The job is easy, so much of my "work" time will be just keeping the place clean, keeping the gamblers happy (hopefully happy enough to tip me when they win), and keeping my Kindle charged to help pass the slow times. With my expenses being at an all-time low right now, I can save some money and get set to move up in the industry. The next step is to open my own location, then another, and another, etc. The more I learn, the easier it will be for that to happen.

I get started on Sunday.. depending on how the schedule is set for next week, I might not begin my full-time shifts until the next week. We'll figure that out on Sunday. I'll probably sneak a trip to the casino tomorrow and maybe even spend the night and play some Saturday as well to get some extra hours in.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Revenge Poker!

After a week and a half off for a fishing vacation, I was back in action at the Mardi Gras Casino yesterday. After about 20 minutes on the waiting list, I get called for a new table. Seat #8...let's do work!

After a couple hours of folding and winning like zero pots, it was time for a piss. Enough of the urinals were being used that I couldn't abide by the "one urinal space between you and the man pissing next to you" rule, so I opted for the big handicap stall. After releasing a nice stream and feeling relieved, I exit the stall to see several people still in the bathroom. I felt awkward for using the handicap stall, so I faked a limp and exited the restroom.

When I came back to my seat, I saw him. That bright red hair with a big shiny bald spot on top can't be missed. Immediately I had flashbacks to elementary school, then my run-ins with this prick during junior high, and then, worst of all, high school.

Let's flashback 18 years (FFS I'm old!). I was actually a good baseball player when I was a kid. I made the all-star teams every single year from the time I was 6 until I was 15. I was a very good hitter. Not a big power guy, although I did have a few home runs (including 2 grand slams). When I was 15, I faced 2 different guys that could touch 90mph on the radar gun. One was a coach and another was a guy playing college ball. Neither were able to strike me out in the few at bats I got with those guys. Add an above average glove in the field, a love for the game, and a thirst to improve and learn about the game, and you had a hell of a ball player... not to brag or anything ;P

Now it's time for high school and I'm so stoked. I'm getting up at 5 a.m. every morning to hit the gym before school... even going to aerobics classes. I'm doing all this months prior to the baseball season. When it's time for practices to start, I'm ready to do whatever it takes to get a starting position. Even more exciting, 90% of this team was on my all-star team the prior season and we finished 2nd in the state 13-16 year old division. And we should have won the state too. The team that beat us, we had just blown out the day before. We just blew up mentally, thinking we were going to cruise to a state title. Anyway this was going to be a great season!

Then practices started. We ran and ran and ran some more. Miles each day. Through the school, up the stairs, past the lockers, down the stairs, through the cafeteria, past the lockers and vending machines, back up the stairs. Rinse. Repeat. This went on for weeks. Our gloves gathered dust in our lockers. Nobody had even seen a glimpse of a bat. As a matter of fact, we hadn't even stepped foot outdoors. Every day, running up and down those fucking steps. Then into the gym for suicides, with mandatory push-ups for the guy that finished last.

So yea, now we have a game in a couple days and have yet to even pick up a baseball. We don't even know who's on the varsity team. I never got to prove myself and try to win a starting spot on the team. The day before the game, we got our uniforms and a list was posted. It was who made varsity and who made junior varsity. I was worried at this point. He hadn't even seen me play. I could outplay most of the guys on this team and he might not even know it. And my worries became reality when I saw my name on the junior varsity list. I was pretty crushed.

I went to speak with him and plead my case. When I first entered his office the next day, I had envisioned an epic fight breaking out where I try to drag him across his desk. In reality, I told him I think he made a mistake putting me on the JV squad when I was one of the best players on his team. I was speaking on deaf ears. After another day of consideration, game day... a game which I wasn't even going to be dressed for, I told him I quit. I had one more season of eligibility on 13-16 little league team and was guaranteed to play there. He asked me to return my spikes, so I sit them on the hood of his car as I was leaving school that day. I wanted to cry.

I ended up playing my last season of baseball that year. My head wasn't really into the game anymore. That prick had spoiled my love for the game. What's worse, he took that awesome team, full of talent and managed to win exactly 1 single game. Yes he not only fucked up a wet dream, but he shit the bed in the process. I've hated him ever since.

We still run into each other from time to time. Usually on the golf course... he's a member of the local Elks club where I frequently golf. The cocksucker hit into us one time and I've been driving golf balls at his head ever since. He once was playing solo (nobody likes this prick) and caught up to us on the final hole. My buddy and I had a cart. He was walking. The last hole is a pretty steep incline and about 400 yards long. He asked if he could go ahead and tee off and catch a lift up the hill on our cart. "It won't hurt you to wait a couple minutes." I calmly stated as I pressed the accelerator and sent the cart up the mountain.

Back to yesterday. I sit down with the intention of making this dude's life a living hell. He was sitting directly to my right. "How are you Wes?" he asked as I sit down.

"Same as always" I said.

On my first hand back to the table, he limped, I raised without even seeing my cards . 110 callers later, I whiff the flop and fold to a bet.

Next hand, I'm dealt QQ. He makes it $5 straight, I 3 bet to $20. 4 callers! Flop is KQx with 2 clubs. He checks, I bet $100, just under pot size. Both the other guys hem and haw for a long time before folding. Dick Coach, insta shoves for $59 more. I call. The board ran out, but a 9 came on the river, scaring me a little. I turn over my flopped set and he mucked. Later he claimed to have KQ. I did a mental fist pump. $179 worth of revenge...better than nothing.

Whenever I was in middle position or late position, if he limped, I raised. My goal was to make him rage quit before the day was over. Unfortunately he was called for his tournament before that happened.

He left a loser.... he's always been a loser and I got $179 worth of revenge from that fuck.

Friday, July 22, 2011

It rubs the lotion on it's skin...

I'm back into playing poker these days. Live poker #FML. The good thing about live poker is that it's easy. I've been taking the 2 hour drive to Mardi Gras Casino & Resort in Crosslanes, WV a couple times a week and playing for about 8 hours at a time. After booking a solid win yesterday, I'm getting dangerously close to a comfortable live bankroll where I can fling around chips like I'm used to doing and play my usual more aggressive style. So far, I've been doing a lot of nut peddling to build my bankroll. It's been working, but I've also been pushed around a bit by some of the LAGgier guys on the tables. However, as my bankroll grows, so do my balls and I am starting to push back. Yesterday was a day that I stood my ground, pushed back, and just flat-out conquered.

I've been to the casino twice this week. Both times I've been seated next to the same transsexual woman*. Now this is West Virginia mind you. I think we just got our first gay less than 5 years ago. So this entire transgender ordeal is new to us mountain folk. This dude-looks-like a lady has some gamble to her too. But she also has the tenancy to go to the felt light and bluff in bad spots. The first day, I was a little confused by the woman*. I knew she was a man...not a lot of guess work involved to figure that out. However, she has a striking resemblance to the dude from Silence of the Lambs that tucked his junk between his legs and wanted the fat chick to rub lotion on herself. Even their voices were similar.

Yesterday, I was in the mood to play, but the day was soured for me early. I was able to get a fairly juicy table early. It was a $1/2 game, but played more like a $2/5 game with some of the stacks and a little extra aggression coming from the 2 drunk dudes at the end of the table. In seat 1 was wheelchair guy. He's always at my table, always in seat 1...this guy would rise from his wheelchair and run to chase down a flush. Seat 2 was a "business man" I see there all the time. He never seems to be doing business, just drinking beer and playing cards (my kind of business) Seat 3 was a LAGgy, semi-tilted/semi-drunk dude about 50 years old. He showed shades of brilliance in his play, but then followed that up with a few WTF moments. Seat 4 was someone whom I can't remember and then later changed to an older guy who never raises preflop and will play any 2 cards for cheap. Seat 5 stayed vacant most of the time, although one chick sit down and busted out in 3 hands. Seat 6 was the FISH. Really this guy had no clue. He was also downing Jim Beam and Diet Cokes like it was his job. Seat 7 was Captain Ohio. He had some pre-flop knowledge, but then just got completely lost in the hand once the flop came. Seat 8 was your hero, ME. Seat 9 was Marla..the transsexual woman*. The table lineup stayed consistent throughout the day

As I mentioned, my desire to play was soured early on. On my first significant hand, I look down to find QQ from UTG. I raise to $8. It seems like the entire table called the raise (and it seemed a few guys from the next table threw their $8 into the pot for good measure), then I get 3 bet to $35 from the BB. I hemmed and hawed about the 3 bet. Normally a 3 bet in these games screams AA or KK. However, this table was a little more loose and aggressive than I was used to seeing during the daytime hours. I stacked up chips for a 4 bet shove... then I took a 2nd look at my cards and my muscles twitched as I started to muck the cards, but I never let go. I put the cards back on the table and flat called the 3 bet since I had position on the guy and knew I had a better idea of what was going on post-flop than he would. Semi-tilted/semi-drunk dude decided to come along and play with us. The flop came 8,4,4 with 2 spades. Now I've been paying dead attention to the BB the entire time. I pretty much stared him down the entire time. He seemed pretty uncomfortable with getting 2 callers. I pretty much had a dead on read of his hand by the time he put in a weak $25 flop bet. I gladly shipped my remaining chips into the middle. However, I felt sick when the button insta-called. I knew I was dead when the BB also called. I told the BB "You have tens or jacks right?". He sheepishly turned over his 2 red jacks. By this time the dealer had dealt the turn and river and the button proudly displayed his 94s for the flopped trips and $600+ pot. REBUY!

That hand stirred an annoying conversation that began with bad beat stories. The FISH in seat 6 even threw in a couple Acey Duecey bad beats for good measure (wtf?), then transformed into a contest about who could tell the worst joke.

"Why is 77 better than 69?" asked the tranny to my left.
"Because you get eight (ate) more! HAH HAH HA" she* belted out in her creepy baritone voice.

I felt dirty and wanted to go home. But I put the entire Foo Fighters discography on shuffle on my iPod and drowned out the fool talk around me.

I bought in short for $100 after that.. a little on tilt..not because monkey on the button cold called a 3 bet with 94s, but because I didn't have the nads to ship it pre-flop and go with my read. If I was going to play like a vagina, I might as well buy in short so it won't cost so much. My $100 dwindled to $51 after a AK, AQ type hands that completely whiffed in multi-way pots. Then the floor guy came by and told it was time to "Splash the Pot". This is where they randomly splash and extra $50-300 into the pot before the hand even starts. He placed 4 green chips in the middle ... $100. There was a live straddle and every called until it came to me. I looked down to see an ace. I didn't even look at my 2nd card. I just shipped my remaining $51 into the middle as I fiddled around for another buyin in my pocket. A couple guys cold called. I think there were 5 of us going to the flop. The flop came rag rag 10. One of the temporary fixtures in seat 5 shoved for a little over $100 and much to my surprise only got 1 caller. They flipped over their cards. I kept mine concealed and clutched the bills in my pocket I had set aside for my rebuy. I saw a pair of tens was winning. Then I saw the sexiest ace ever hit the turn. I faded any disaster on the river and raked in a $400ish pot with only a $51 investment. Well played sir :P

2 hands later, I flopped a set of 8's and let out $10 into a $12 pot. There were 2 diamonds on the board. Seat 1 min raised me to $20. Someone else called. I 3 bet to $95 when the action returned to me and the wheelchair guy called as did the 3rd guy, but it put him all in. I knew exactly what wheelchair guy had when he called the extra $75 with little thought. I've seen him do the min raise on his flush draws before ... it's almost is the inevitable 3rd diamond that hit the turn. I cursed to the poker gods under my breath and checked to the cripple in seat 1. I then wondered if that's how he lost the use of his some back room poker game, chasing flush draws and hitting them with ease until one day, some tilted drunk had enough and bashed his fucking kneecaps into oblivion. That's what I felt like doing anyway when he bet out a measley $50. He pretty much priced me into seeing a river card. "Pair the fucking board for me one time!" I thought to myself. It always seems to pair when I'm the one holding the flush. Obviously it didn't. I checked and had visions of showing my flopped set as I folded to wheel chair guys bet. However, he checked behind for some fucking reason and then showed me the king high flush. Weak. It was starting to look that this was not going to be my day despite my fortunate turn card in the splashed pot.

Then something happened. I started to run over the table and accumulate chips. The losing pots are so much easier to remember than the winning hands, but here are a couple I remember. The first I had just come back from the shitter when I looked down my first hand and saw 2 beautiful black aces. It was my big blind, so the tranny on my left started the action with a raise. A few callers later, it was up to me. I bumped it to $35 and weeded it out to just her* and me. The flop came K,7,7. I bet about 1/2 the pot and she* called. A 3 fell on the turn. I had put her* on a weak king at this point, but hadn't ruled out the possibility of a flush draw (2 spades on the board). At this point I was willing to go to the felt with my aces assuming a safe river. I examined her* stack. I forget the details , but I bet enough on the turn to allow me to be able to shove a safe river and expect a call. I was really happy when the 3rd 7 fell. I knew I would have the he/she's entire stack (I may have had her covered by $40-50) if she had the king. I thought about shoving the river, but I wanted to make sure I got full value. I knew she* was aggressive enough to bet a busted flush draw on that river, however she wouldn't call my shove if she missed. I also knew she would call my shove if she had the king, but she would also bet the king if I checked to her. Either way, I felt there was more value in check-raising than just shoving. I checked and she casually bet $150. I thought for a minute and then just put my remaining $300 or so in the middle as I talked to myself aloud and mentioned the word "chopped pot" to maybe make her think I had the king. She* insta-folded face up and showed her* 2 spades. I got an extra $150 out of her* just by pausing and thinking about the hand and whom I was up against.

This is getting way too long, so I'll stop now. Long story short, I continued to win pots. I varied my style of play as I grew more comfortable with the mountain of chips in front of me. At one point some dude said I was playing very tight aloud to the entire table. 30 minutes later, I raised 7 of 10 hands pre-flop and my image changed along with those plays.

I'll probably go back 2-3 days next week before I go on vacation for a week in Front Royal VA with most of my close friends. I'm going to try to post a little more too. I've noticed most of the poker blogs in my google reader are dead these days, so I'm going to search for some new ones to read and hopefully add my name to the list of blogs that update semi-regularly.

In the meantime while you're eagerly awaiting my next post, give my good friend Rob Bishop's new book a read. It is called The Underlings. It's sort of a Back to the Future meets Goodfellas type novel and a fun read. In the past few weeks I've read The Underlings, Jack Tripper Stole my Dog, A Game of Thrones, and I'm about 20% through A Clash of Kings.

Friday, July 8, 2011

More Live Poker

So f'ing rigged...

An overview of how my day went.

- Fold fold fold
- yay a playable hand!
- flop the nuts on that playable hand, throw money into the pot
- rebuy!

Friday, July 1, 2011

WWJD (The Casino Version)

I went back to the casino yesterday for some grinding. I won a big pot on like my 3rd or 4th hand when I flopped trips, and turned a boat. Lost a big pot a bit later when I turned the nut flush and my opponent rivered a boat.... even though she thought she lost. So did the dealer that started pushing the chips my direction and her cards into the muck. Long story short, the cunt got her chips and then donked them off to some other douche. All in all, I still made a decent profit, but it was a grind.

The real reason for this post is something I witnessed while at the casino. Evidently they have an early morning tournament or something that was finishing up as I was just getting settled into my seat. The last 3 guys chopped it up. Now I've never played a tournament at this casino, so I'm not exactly sure how they handle chops (or how any other casino handles them for that matter). All I can tell you is they really FUCKED THIS ONE UP! Bad.

I'm not sure if they actually played out the tournament or what, but all I know is that the "first place" dude went to the cage and was given roughly $700. He then left the casino. The other 2 dudes were given roughly $400 each and we due another $100 each from the first place guy... who is probably 5 miles down the road by the time ANY CASINO EMPLOYEE REALIZES WHAT HAPPENED!?!!

Now we're not talking about huge money here. The casino has the $700 guy's players club card info. They know his name and number and I'm sure will get that money back. My gut feeling is that the dude probably expected the casino to handle the chop and just figured what he was paid was the same thing everyone else was paid. Evidently he's a regular in the room, so nobody seemed to be too concerned about getting the money back...except for the 2 poor guys standing their with their dicks in their hand waiting on the rest of their money.

The discussion got heated...then LOUD. Then the cops came. All in all, this went on for a couple hours. There was talk of felony charges and blah blah fucking blah. First of all, no felony was committed. And I'm pretty sure any crime committed was purely accidental. Secondly, during the 2 hours or so it took to even calm this boiling issue down to a simmer, the casino probably made tens of thousands of dollars. Give the 2 guys their $100 and recoup your money when the other dude comes back. Worst case scenario, you're out $200, but with 2 happy customers.

What would Jesus do if he owned a casino?

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Actual poker content!

I went to the casino Sunday for a little slot machine fun. My parents play the slots enough to get some pretty good deals from the casino including monthly free play money. This weekend was my mother's last shot to play off her money and since my Dad was working, I took his players card with me and had $80 free to play slots! Time to win big!

I loaded up in the car with my mother and set off to do what every functional family should be doing...gambling. Now my mother is your typical lady that is mesmerized by slots. You put her in a room full of video slot machines and she loses all sense of time. Her idea of a successful day of playing slots is not necessarily winning big or even winning at all. She's had a good day if her allotted gambling money lasts a long time.... and believe me, she's like a fucking Iron Man when it comes to playing those fool machines.

So about an hour into our casino adventure, and I've spent $70 of the $80 free play and the only thing I have to show for it is a $10 winning slip in my pocket. It's exhausting to me just playing those silly machines. They make my head hurt with their stupid sound and stupid ways of taking all my money. So I give up and hand my mother my Dad's players card with the remaining $10 and told her "If you need me, I'll be sitting at a poker table back there". And off I went. $200 to the cashier. "$160 in red, $40 in white please" (my lucky starting chip distribution).

I'm 5th on the waiting list, but it doesn't take but 10-15 minutes for enough people to start a new table. And it was a good one. I'm not one to remember the details of every hand, even the important ones. All I know is that I started out with a bang which gave me a pretty reckless image that got me paid off time and time again.

I call a small raise in position and it's heads up between me and another guy directly on my right. The flop comes K,T,8 or something like that. The other guy checks and I fire out $25 hoping to take the pot uncontested. Instead he insta-check raises all-in, but it was only $11 more to call (I totally wasn't paying attention to his stack size), so I donated $11 to the pot knowing I was crushed. My opponent turned over his Aces and I sheepishly hide my pocket 7's.... until the 7 hit the turn. "Nice call dickhead" my opponent gasped as he exited stage right.

From that point for the next 90 minutes or so, I folded... garbage garbage garbage. I woke up with A5s in the SB once and you would have thought I had 2 jokers. I called a small raise with the suited ace in a multiway pot. The flop 3,4,7 with 2 spades. Double gutter and a nut flush draw, I'm gambling here after 90 minutes of folding. I check and then it the guy to my left bets something like $30 and 19 other people flat call. I shoved and NOBODY called! I had huge equity in the pot and it wouldn't have hurt my feelings if 1 or 90 people called my shove. But I was happy to take it uncontested...well because I never get there.

I busted another guy when he couldn't lay down JJ on a dry King high board facing my big check-raise. I won another huge pot when I turned a nut straight in a community pot. There was a lot of c-bets that won me some uncontested pots as well. I got in a zone for a while and the poker during those couple hours was more of a blur than anything.

I had a fun, lively table (other than the douche that cussed me for sucking out). Everyone was willing to gamble. One guy went through like 5 buyins in a couple hours. When he finally ran out of money, I racked up my chips, cashed in my loot, bought an overpriced/overcooked Kobe Beef Burger and left the casino a happy man. So happy, I kinda got that poker itch again. Me thinks another road trip is on the agenda for tomorrow. I'm going to rage solo and hopefully keep building me a live poker bankroll to toy around with.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011


I just came back from a short vacation in Surf City, NC. My brother is a charter fishing captain and took us out to try to catch some red drums. The fishing sucked ass, but I had a blast just being out on the water. It was the start of tourist season and the first time I've been there during that time. I saw several hot hippie chicks that will be in the spank bank for a good while.

I also went on a little fishing/scouting expedition yesterday. We 2 awesome rivers in this area that I don't fish enough. We have the New River and Greenbrier River within 30 minutes and both are just full of fish. I don't have a boat suitable for river fishing (yet), so my options are wading and bank fishing at the moment. I love to wade fish. It's my favorite method of fishing. The New River is a bit too dangerous for me to wade in most places. I do have 1 decent spot near the dam, but it gets fished rather heavily. The Greenbrier, on the other hand, is easily waded in most spots. The problem is just finding a spot to be able to park your vehicle and get into the water. My little scouting expedition yesterday help me find a few of those spots. So the missile sirens are wailing for the Smallmouth bass population in West Virginia. I'm about to wage war on some fish.

In other news, I still don't have a job. I have been looking, but there's not a lot to be had around here. I'm about to the point of having to consider relocating, which I really don't want to do. However, before I do that, I'm going to try out giving 110% of working on my own. I have enough people hounding me every day for help with their computers, I might as well try to monetize it. I don't expect to make a killing, but if I keep my costs down and actually give it my all, I feel I can get by. It will be much more rewarding too. I plan on blogging my experience as well if I'm not too overwhelmed with work. I will probably start a new blog for that though.

Peace out homies

Thursday, June 2, 2011


Nothing but a bunch of crickets chirping in the corner of the internet lately. It's hard to keep an interesting blog when you lead an uninteresting life. To solidify that statement, I'm already in bed at 8:47 p.m. on a Thursday night. I'm bored to tears and evidently there isn't much I can do about it right now. Someone needs a new hobby!?

So I think to myself "Self, what do you enjoy doing that's cheap and would make a good hobby?". The only thing that came to mind was writing. Even though I'm not as graceful with a pen or keyboard like some people, I still enjoy writing.

I'm not sure which direction I want to take this blog. I do know I don't want it to stay stagnant. I'm working on a few things in life that are kind of fun. So I figure I'll just blog about my adventures in trying to better myself.

I'm still working on losing weight. That has come to a standstill lately as I have quit dipping snuff (another aspect of my self improvement). Tonight will be my 9th consecutive night nicotine free! GO ME! One problem though... I could eat everything in this house and go out and buy some more. Jesus Christ, I can't get full. I'm scared to look at how much weight I've gained over the 9 days I've gone nicotine free. I'm sure it's a scale trainwreck waiting to happen...and it' going to happen. But it's no big deal. Hopefully these nicotine urges I get from time to time that I replace with food will go away in time. Also, I exercised today, so that helps!

Also in the self-improvement category, I'm starting up a new business. What little money I was making playing poker went completely bye bye on April 15th, so I needed to do something to earn some scratch without having to whore myself out on the street corners. I whipped up a new business license, contacted some vendors, and now I'm just a few days away from launching a pretty sexy retail website. I don't expect to make much money from the business, but I do plan on MAKING SOME MONEY. I'm starting from zilch too! A couple drop shipped items sold on ebay funded the website. Now I'm working on the capital to have a beginning inventory. My goal here is to learn the online entrepreneurial game and establish some confidence in playing that game.

I won't bore you any further. Expect more frequent updates...hopefully more entertaining than this garbage.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Is it just me?

So this has been going on for years and I'm not sure if this phenomenon is exclusive to me or if it's a common occurrence. When I go to take a shit, I sit on the toilet like any other human. Usually before the turds release, I piss and seemingly empty the bladder. Then I commence to shitting. Usually after a turd or 2, the phenomenon occurs. All of the sudden, I'm taking another FULL piss. Where the hell did this piss come from? Did I not just empty my bladder 5 seconds ago? Were my turds blocking off party of my bladder preventing it from being properly emptying? Is this problem exclusive to fat people? These are questions that haunt me at 4:54 a.m. when I'm battling insomnia (and after taking a nice shit).

Monday, January 10, 2011

A New Years Resolution I might stick with...

When asked what I wanted for Christmas, I really had no idea. Then one day, probably while taking a shit, I decided I watch too much TV. Like 4 out of 5 weekday evenings revolved around television programs. And that's even working the DVR overtime. Something has to give. There really isn't that much quality content on the TV!

So I decided to ask for a Kindle for Christmas. I have to say, I love this thing! I'm addicted to reading again. I started out trying to read Gulliver's Travels since it was free on Amazon's Kindle store. About 1/2 way thru, I gave up. Just plain boring IMO. Then I moved onto another freebie, The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. It was better than Gulliver's Travels, but the tales all felt like they needed a little more meat.

Then, I found a jackpot download on everyone's favorite bay ... where all the pirates hang out. 972 Kindle books in one download. BOOM! Packed full of awesome books. I decided I had avoided the Harry Potter books long enough. So I've dove into that series head first. I'm really enjoying the books. I had avoided them in the past because I thought they were for kids. But then I realized, I'm just an overgrown kid, so it's probably for me.

I'm going to finish off the Potter series (probably sooner than later). Then it's time to decide what's next! In the meantime, I'm suffering zero withdrawals from my lack of TV.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Battling with a Bible thumper...

IMO, religion is nothing more than entertainment. I am entertained while hoards of people, unable to think for themselves, blindly worship an all-powerful being that can be everywhere at the same time and still have the spare time to listen to your bitching and moaning and grant your wishes. Sounds almost like Santa Claus huh?

Anyway, 95% of the time, when I type something in my Facebook status area, it's my humerous views on life. My language is very unfiltered at times too. It's who I am. If you're really my friend like Facebook says you are, then you should have known this already.

Let's flashback about 10 years. I'm very good friends with this guy who happens to have a twin. I was friends with his twin brother for a time, but over the years, the 2 twins drifted further apart from one another in personality. On one hand, the one I still call my friend is happy-go-lucky, fun to be around, and just an all around good guy. His brother grew into a miserable, annoying fuck. Our personalities clash something fierce. I can tolerate him in small doses though. Which evidently is sufficient enough to be my Facebook friend.

So I hop on Facebook a few mornings ago and type something along the lines of "My shit's so sweet, when I eat toast and eggs, I crap out cupcakes". No reason.. it just popped in my head and I chuckled. My first reply to the status:

"Wes, you need a job. All you do is post of Facebook all the time. Quit using fowl language all the time. It shows your intelligence."

WHAT!? First of all, this is coming from a dude that has probably said "Fuck" in front of my mother no less than 10 times. But apparently, after an illness, he has found religion. So now it's his duty to censor me. My retort:

"Don't insult my intelligence when you can't spell 'foul'"

I could have busted up his response a little more, but I left it at that.

So today, I'm not sure what I actually typed that offended him so much. I went back through my statuses and the most offending word I could find was "douche". But that was just this morning, he may have seen something from yesterday or before. Anyway, I get a private message (it's getting serious now!) from him that reads:

"Wesley, i love you brother, and I love picking on you. But please be considerate of what my church friends are seeing when you post cus words"

My response:

"Brother, they aren't on my friends list and won't see anything I type. If they do, they are more than welcome to delete me."

I refuse to actually battle with a Bible thumper. It's worse than arguing with a drunk. You can't win an argument when they have an imaginary friend on their side. So I say my peace and unfriend them. In the end I win.. you just have your imaginary friend and one less virtual friend, I have the knowledge of how to actually use the most popular website in the world and cut all virtual ties with you.