Friday, July 22, 2011

It rubs the lotion on it's skin...

I'm back into playing poker these days. Live poker #FML. The good thing about live poker is that it's easy. I've been taking the 2 hour drive to Mardi Gras Casino & Resort in Crosslanes, WV a couple times a week and playing for about 8 hours at a time. After booking a solid win yesterday, I'm getting dangerously close to a comfortable live bankroll where I can fling around chips like I'm used to doing and play my usual more aggressive style. So far, I've been doing a lot of nut peddling to build my bankroll. It's been working, but I've also been pushed around a bit by some of the LAGgier guys on the tables. However, as my bankroll grows, so do my balls and I am starting to push back. Yesterday was a day that I stood my ground, pushed back, and just flat-out conquered.

I've been to the casino twice this week. Both times I've been seated next to the same transsexual woman*. Now this is West Virginia mind you. I think we just got our first gay less than 5 years ago. So this entire transgender ordeal is new to us mountain folk. This dude-looks-like a lady has some gamble to her too. But she also has the tenancy to go to the felt light and bluff in bad spots. The first day, I was a little confused by the woman*. I knew she was a man...not a lot of guess work involved to figure that out. However, she has a striking resemblance to the dude from Silence of the Lambs that tucked his junk between his legs and wanted the fat chick to rub lotion on herself. Even their voices were similar.

Yesterday, I was in the mood to play, but the day was soured for me early. I was able to get a fairly juicy table early. It was a $1/2 game, but played more like a $2/5 game with some of the stacks and a little extra aggression coming from the 2 drunk dudes at the end of the table. In seat 1 was wheelchair guy. He's always at my table, always in seat 1...this guy would rise from his wheelchair and run to chase down a flush. Seat 2 was a "business man" I see there all the time. He never seems to be doing business, just drinking beer and playing cards (my kind of business) Seat 3 was a LAGgy, semi-tilted/semi-drunk dude about 50 years old. He showed shades of brilliance in his play, but then followed that up with a few WTF moments. Seat 4 was someone whom I can't remember and then later changed to an older guy who never raises preflop and will play any 2 cards for cheap. Seat 5 stayed vacant most of the time, although one chick sit down and busted out in 3 hands. Seat 6 was the FISH. Really this guy had no clue. He was also downing Jim Beam and Diet Cokes like it was his job. Seat 7 was Captain Ohio. He had some pre-flop knowledge, but then just got completely lost in the hand once the flop came. Seat 8 was your hero, ME. Seat 9 was Marla..the transsexual woman*. The table lineup stayed consistent throughout the day

As I mentioned, my desire to play was soured early on. On my first significant hand, I look down to find QQ from UTG. I raise to $8. It seems like the entire table called the raise (and it seemed a few guys from the next table threw their $8 into the pot for good measure), then I get 3 bet to $35 from the BB. I hemmed and hawed about the 3 bet. Normally a 3 bet in these games screams AA or KK. However, this table was a little more loose and aggressive than I was used to seeing during the daytime hours. I stacked up chips for a 4 bet shove... then I took a 2nd look at my cards and my muscles twitched as I started to muck the cards, but I never let go. I put the cards back on the table and flat called the 3 bet since I had position on the guy and knew I had a better idea of what was going on post-flop than he would. Semi-tilted/semi-drunk dude decided to come along and play with us. The flop came 8,4,4 with 2 spades. Now I've been paying dead attention to the BB the entire time. I pretty much stared him down the entire time. He seemed pretty uncomfortable with getting 2 callers. I pretty much had a dead on read of his hand by the time he put in a weak $25 flop bet. I gladly shipped my remaining chips into the middle. However, I felt sick when the button insta-called. I knew I was dead when the BB also called. I told the BB "You have tens or jacks right?". He sheepishly turned over his 2 red jacks. By this time the dealer had dealt the turn and river and the button proudly displayed his 94s for the flopped trips and $600+ pot. REBUY!

That hand stirred an annoying conversation that began with bad beat stories. The FISH in seat 6 even threw in a couple Acey Duecey bad beats for good measure (wtf?), then transformed into a contest about who could tell the worst joke.

"Why is 77 better than 69?" asked the tranny to my left.
"Because you get eight (ate) more! HAH HAH HA" she* belted out in her creepy baritone voice.

I felt dirty and wanted to go home. But I put the entire Foo Fighters discography on shuffle on my iPod and drowned out the fool talk around me.

I bought in short for $100 after that.. a little on tilt..not because monkey on the button cold called a 3 bet with 94s, but because I didn't have the nads to ship it pre-flop and go with my read. If I was going to play like a vagina, I might as well buy in short so it won't cost so much. My $100 dwindled to $51 after a AK, AQ type hands that completely whiffed in multi-way pots. Then the floor guy came by and told it was time to "Splash the Pot". This is where they randomly splash and extra $50-300 into the pot before the hand even starts. He placed 4 green chips in the middle ... $100. There was a live straddle and every called until it came to me. I looked down to see an ace. I didn't even look at my 2nd card. I just shipped my remaining $51 into the middle as I fiddled around for another buyin in my pocket. A couple guys cold called. I think there were 5 of us going to the flop. The flop came rag rag 10. One of the temporary fixtures in seat 5 shoved for a little over $100 and much to my surprise only got 1 caller. They flipped over their cards. I kept mine concealed and clutched the bills in my pocket I had set aside for my rebuy. I saw a pair of tens was winning. Then I saw the sexiest ace ever hit the turn. I faded any disaster on the river and raked in a $400ish pot with only a $51 investment. Well played sir :P

2 hands later, I flopped a set of 8's and let out $10 into a $12 pot. There were 2 diamonds on the board. Seat 1 min raised me to $20. Someone else called. I 3 bet to $95 when the action returned to me and the wheelchair guy called as did the 3rd guy, but it put him all in. I knew exactly what wheelchair guy had when he called the extra $75 with little thought. I've seen him do the min raise on his flush draws before ... it's almost is the inevitable 3rd diamond that hit the turn. I cursed to the poker gods under my breath and checked to the cripple in seat 1. I then wondered if that's how he lost the use of his some back room poker game, chasing flush draws and hitting them with ease until one day, some tilted drunk had enough and bashed his fucking kneecaps into oblivion. That's what I felt like doing anyway when he bet out a measley $50. He pretty much priced me into seeing a river card. "Pair the fucking board for me one time!" I thought to myself. It always seems to pair when I'm the one holding the flush. Obviously it didn't. I checked and had visions of showing my flopped set as I folded to wheel chair guys bet. However, he checked behind for some fucking reason and then showed me the king high flush. Weak. It was starting to look that this was not going to be my day despite my fortunate turn card in the splashed pot.

Then something happened. I started to run over the table and accumulate chips. The losing pots are so much easier to remember than the winning hands, but here are a couple I remember. The first I had just come back from the shitter when I looked down my first hand and saw 2 beautiful black aces. It was my big blind, so the tranny on my left started the action with a raise. A few callers later, it was up to me. I bumped it to $35 and weeded it out to just her* and me. The flop came K,7,7. I bet about 1/2 the pot and she* called. A 3 fell on the turn. I had put her* on a weak king at this point, but hadn't ruled out the possibility of a flush draw (2 spades on the board). At this point I was willing to go to the felt with my aces assuming a safe river. I examined her* stack. I forget the details , but I bet enough on the turn to allow me to be able to shove a safe river and expect a call. I was really happy when the 3rd 7 fell. I knew I would have the he/she's entire stack (I may have had her covered by $40-50) if she had the king. I thought about shoving the river, but I wanted to make sure I got full value. I knew she* was aggressive enough to bet a busted flush draw on that river, however she wouldn't call my shove if she missed. I also knew she would call my shove if she had the king, but she would also bet the king if I checked to her. Either way, I felt there was more value in check-raising than just shoving. I checked and she casually bet $150. I thought for a minute and then just put my remaining $300 or so in the middle as I talked to myself aloud and mentioned the word "chopped pot" to maybe make her think I had the king. She* insta-folded face up and showed her* 2 spades. I got an extra $150 out of her* just by pausing and thinking about the hand and whom I was up against.

This is getting way too long, so I'll stop now. Long story short, I continued to win pots. I varied my style of play as I grew more comfortable with the mountain of chips in front of me. At one point some dude said I was playing very tight aloud to the entire table. 30 minutes later, I raised 7 of 10 hands pre-flop and my image changed along with those plays.

I'll probably go back 2-3 days next week before I go on vacation for a week in Front Royal VA with most of my close friends. I'm going to try to post a little more too. I've noticed most of the poker blogs in my google reader are dead these days, so I'm going to search for some new ones to read and hopefully add my name to the list of blogs that update semi-regularly.

In the meantime while you're eagerly awaiting my next post, give my good friend Rob Bishop's new book a read. It is called The Underlings. It's sort of a Back to the Future meets Goodfellas type novel and a fun read. In the past few weeks I've read The Underlings, Jack Tripper Stole my Dog, A Game of Thrones, and I'm about 20% through A Clash of Kings.

Friday, July 8, 2011

More Live Poker

So f'ing rigged...

An overview of how my day went.

- Fold fold fold
- yay a playable hand!
- flop the nuts on that playable hand, throw money into the pot
- rebuy!

Friday, July 1, 2011

WWJD (The Casino Version)

I went back to the casino yesterday for some grinding. I won a big pot on like my 3rd or 4th hand when I flopped trips, and turned a boat. Lost a big pot a bit later when I turned the nut flush and my opponent rivered a boat.... even though she thought she lost. So did the dealer that started pushing the chips my direction and her cards into the muck. Long story short, the cunt got her chips and then donked them off to some other douche. All in all, I still made a decent profit, but it was a grind.

The real reason for this post is something I witnessed while at the casino. Evidently they have an early morning tournament or something that was finishing up as I was just getting settled into my seat. The last 3 guys chopped it up. Now I've never played a tournament at this casino, so I'm not exactly sure how they handle chops (or how any other casino handles them for that matter). All I can tell you is they really FUCKED THIS ONE UP! Bad.

I'm not sure if they actually played out the tournament or what, but all I know is that the "first place" dude went to the cage and was given roughly $700. He then left the casino. The other 2 dudes were given roughly $400 each and we due another $100 each from the first place guy... who is probably 5 miles down the road by the time ANY CASINO EMPLOYEE REALIZES WHAT HAPPENED!?!!

Now we're not talking about huge money here. The casino has the $700 guy's players club card info. They know his name and number and I'm sure will get that money back. My gut feeling is that the dude probably expected the casino to handle the chop and just figured what he was paid was the same thing everyone else was paid. Evidently he's a regular in the room, so nobody seemed to be too concerned about getting the money back...except for the 2 poor guys standing their with their dicks in their hand waiting on the rest of their money.

The discussion got heated...then LOUD. Then the cops came. All in all, this went on for a couple hours. There was talk of felony charges and blah blah fucking blah. First of all, no felony was committed. And I'm pretty sure any crime committed was purely accidental. Secondly, during the 2 hours or so it took to even calm this boiling issue down to a simmer, the casino probably made tens of thousands of dollars. Give the 2 guys their $100 and recoup your money when the other dude comes back. Worst case scenario, you're out $200, but with 2 happy customers.

What would Jesus do if he owned a casino?