Unfiltered

This blog is as unfiltered as I get.  Unfortunately, it's a dead space on the internet lately as I have neglected it.  It seems like any post I do put up here promises more frequent posting with failed results.  I'm not going to make such promises today.  I just have some shit to get off my chest.

First things first.  I'm working at becoming a better person.  Not only am I trying to treat myself better (2.5 weeks nicotine free, and 21+ lbs lighter), but I'm trying to do my best to help others.  Shit hit home for me last week and really drove a wedge into my brain about what I'm doing with my life and which direction I want to go.  Let me tell you a story:

I have a friend.  His nickname is Spook.  I'm not sure how he got the nickname.  It was just in place way before I came along as his friend.  Spook is one of the most talented and funniest people on the planet.  Put a musical instrument (especially a guitar) in this man's hand and he turns into a God.  The sheer talent flowing through this man's body is uncanny.  Unfortunately, Spook has your typical rock star mentality.  Party hard, worry about other shit later.

I was Spook's #1 fan until his drinking got out of hand.  I used to follow him around to all the bars as he played his shows.  I watched his fan base grow from a few measly people to several hundred.  Towards the end of my run of hanging with him, the bars were packed to hear him and his band-mates.  However, during this time, I transformed from a fan to more of a babysitter.  His drinking got out of hand.  I spent most of my time making sure he got home safe at night than anything.  It wasn't fun for me and became a chore.  Finally I felt like someone that just enabled Spook to drink and cut ties with him.  We were still friends, I just quit following the band around from bar to bar.

Fast forward to a couple Tuesday night's ago.  Spook was coming home....drunk... and driving.  He went into oncoming traffic and ended up hitting a car head-on.  2 women died as a result.  Apparently one of them was pregnant.  Spook came out without a scratch.  He's looking at considerable jail time as a result.

I can't explain to you the range of emotions this experience has caused.  There's some anger, a lot of guilt, and so many other emotions all rolled into one.  Not once did I think about other people's safety when I would take a drunken Spook home.  Not once did I offer to help Spook with his apparent drinking problem.  For that I felt guilty.  I cried a lot after this incident.  To see a friend go down like this is tough.  In the eyes of any person not connected to Spook, he's a dirtbag.  Maybe he is in my book.  I'm getting over any guilt I feel over the death of these 2 women.  In the end, it was Spook that chose to drink and drive.  It was Spook that had been charged with DUI several times before and only once convicted because he bought/bribed his way out of them.

So cheers to you Spook.  I still consider you my friend.  You definitely deserve any jail time you will receive.  Hopefully this is a wake-up call.  Get your shit together.  You have at least 2 deaths on your hands.  It may not have be premeditated, but you are a murderer.  Take your time and get your shit together.  Hopefully you will help others when you get out of prison.  I also hope you take that talent of yours and become a rock star after this is all said and done.

Limitless

To add some life to this blog, I've decided to just start watching random movies on Netflix and blogging about them.  I'm just picking movies at random, usually from what Netflix recommends to me.  The only criteria is that is has to be a movie I have never seen before.

First up: Limitless.  It stars some Bradley Cooper dude and some Abbie Cornish chick with some Robert De Niro thrown in to give the flick some credibility I guess.

The gist of the movie is that this bum writer finds this designer drug that enables you to use 100% of your brain capacity.  Through the use of the drug, he has an epic rise in his career and life, making millions trading on the stock market and just totally killing life while on the drug.

Predictably there are side effects to the drug.  Evidently once you stop taking it, it kills you.  Also predictably there is a limited supply and everyone who knows about the drug wants it.

I watched this movie like 2 hours ago and I've already forgotten most of it.  Except this one cool part where this chick was running from this dude.  She took the drug to help escape.  During her escape, she used a kid on ice skates as a weapon.  Originality! That's the only bit of it you'll get from this flick.

So would I watch this movie again? I doubt it.  Do I recommend it? Sure, if you have 100 minutes of your life you'd like to kill, you could watch this movie.  Personally I'd save that 100 minutes for something more important... like masturbating.

Is it baseball season yet?

Maybe it's because I watch Sportscenter approximately 8 times a day, but I am so sick of basketball right now. The NASCAR season is here... And I'm over it. I try to enjoy hockey and I do, but coverage of hockey games is so crappy on this area, it's tough to follow hockey closely. Add in the fact that Sidney Crosby is in no hurry to make his way back on to the ice. I'm pretty much a hockey fan without a team!

Now baseball. That's a sport I can get in to. I played as a kid. I still collect baseball cards. I'm in a sick fantasy league too. Most people give me shot for loving baseball but I just tell the to eat a dick. It's a great sport. I just hate the off season.

We have our annual fantasy draft this weekend. 8 guys spread across the USA have been doing this league for several years now. It's not your typical league either. We have keepers, a farm system, and 2 amateur drafts. I have won the league once. Came in 2nd twice.

To kick off the fantasy baseball draft weekend, we are doing a group break live on blogtv tonight. My buddy, Jim has a fresh 6 box case of Topps Tier One. I will be heading over to his house after work to kick off the festivities. The break will be $34/spot for 2 teams. There are 13 spots left. PayPal only please. It will be a blast! And a perfect way to kick off the baseball season.

Is this thing on?

I pretty much forgot I had a blog. It's been a few months since my last post. Not a whole lot of new or exciting stuff in my world right now. I haven't played poker in months. I've pretty much devoted all my spare time and money to collecting/trading/buying/selling baseball cards. The rest of my time I spend working. I'm still looking for a new job, but times are tough in this area right now.

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My family had a tough loss a few weeks ago. My nephew, Alex, died in a car crash. He was such a good kid and way too young. He was only 18 years old. I thought of him more as little brother rather than a nephew. The whole family has had a difficult time dealing with his death. Even now, a month after his accident, I can't type this paragraph without tears coming to my eyes.

But I'm not here to talk about the sadness of Alex's death. I just wanted to mention what a good kid he really was. Most 18 year old kids I know are pretty much jerks. I was 18 once and I remember how much of an ass I was. It's just human nature. Alex was a little different. Sure he had all the same things going on that any normal 18 year old did. However, he was also a family oriented person. He took time out to help his family rather than being embarrassed to be around them like most teenagers. He was constantly helping me with repairs and maintenance on my house. I felt like an idiot when it came to handy-man type stuff and he was just a natural at it.

Alex was just born mechanically inclined. His first fascination in life was vacuum cleaners. He was obsessed with them and how they worked. That obsession quickly turned to cars, trucks, tractors, go-carts, ATVs, motorcycles, or any other vehicle you could drive. He was pretty much always driving or riding something from the age of 3. I remember he used to love to come over to my house and play Grand Theft Auto 3. He would spend HOURS playing that game. My mother would get concerned about letting him play that game because it was so violent. But I had her watch him play for a bit. All he did in the game was acquire vehicles and drive them around. He would get a big truck and parallel park it in front of the house, or back all his cars up in a line across the screen. It was pretty funny. He just wanted to drive and play with cars.

I'm not a religious person. I don't believe any just God would have taken Alex from this earth. I believe life just sucks sometimes and you have to move on. I really miss Alex. If there's one thing I've learned (or have been re-taught) from his death, it is that life is too short and can be cut even shorter. I'm trying to better myself. Sometimes I go into a "funk" where I actually sabotage my self improvement. I'm 16 years older than Alex and he was more of a grown-up than me. Not that I have or want to be a model grown-up. However, I do need to be more mature about some decisions I make in life. And hopefully I can use Alex's death as a means to be more mature about such decisions.