Is this thing on?

I pretty much forgot I had a blog. It's been a few months since my last post. Not a whole lot of new or exciting stuff in my world right now. I haven't played poker in months. I've pretty much devoted all my spare time and money to collecting/trading/buying/selling baseball cards. The rest of my time I spend working. I'm still looking for a new job, but times are tough in this area right now.

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My family had a tough loss a few weeks ago. My nephew, Alex, died in a car crash. He was such a good kid and way too young. He was only 18 years old. I thought of him more as little brother rather than a nephew. The whole family has had a difficult time dealing with his death. Even now, a month after his accident, I can't type this paragraph without tears coming to my eyes.

But I'm not here to talk about the sadness of Alex's death. I just wanted to mention what a good kid he really was. Most 18 year old kids I know are pretty much jerks. I was 18 once and I remember how much of an ass I was. It's just human nature. Alex was a little different. Sure he had all the same things going on that any normal 18 year old did. However, he was also a family oriented person. He took time out to help his family rather than being embarrassed to be around them like most teenagers. He was constantly helping me with repairs and maintenance on my house. I felt like an idiot when it came to handy-man type stuff and he was just a natural at it.

Alex was just born mechanically inclined. His first fascination in life was vacuum cleaners. He was obsessed with them and how they worked. That obsession quickly turned to cars, trucks, tractors, go-carts, ATVs, motorcycles, or any other vehicle you could drive. He was pretty much always driving or riding something from the age of 3. I remember he used to love to come over to my house and play Grand Theft Auto 3. He would spend HOURS playing that game. My mother would get concerned about letting him play that game because it was so violent. But I had her watch him play for a bit. All he did in the game was acquire vehicles and drive them around. He would get a big truck and parallel park it in front of the house, or back all his cars up in a line across the screen. It was pretty funny. He just wanted to drive and play with cars.

I'm not a religious person. I don't believe any just God would have taken Alex from this earth. I believe life just sucks sometimes and you have to move on. I really miss Alex. If there's one thing I've learned (or have been re-taught) from his death, it is that life is too short and can be cut even shorter. I'm trying to better myself. Sometimes I go into a "funk" where I actually sabotage my self improvement. I'm 16 years older than Alex and he was more of a grown-up than me. Not that I have or want to be a model grown-up. However, I do need to be more mature about some decisions I make in life. And hopefully I can use Alex's death as a means to be more mature about such decisions.