Family Guy

Pauly just wrote a very good post about his family and the disappointments family can lead to. Since, I have been avoiding the poker tables lately, this post actually stirred up some thoughts in my head that I could write about in my own blog.

It's no secret that Dr. Pauly is my favorite of all the bloggers. I envy it when people do their own thing and succeed in life. It's kind of like giving a big middle finger to everyone that shoves doubts in your head from the time you're born to the time you're all grown up and move out on your own. You see it time and time again. Eat your vegetables, go to school, get good grades, get a good job, then become a monkey working paycheck to paycheck. No offense to the other monkies in the world, but that lifestyle has made me want to eat a bullet a time or 2. I'd rather buck the system.

When it comes to my family, I have my parents and then I have the rest of my family. Now don't get me wrong, I love my parents more than anything in this world. However, I do blame them for some of the issues I had when growing up. I was sheltered, being an only child. There were so many things that I have never experienced or didn't experience until later in life than most people. My parents, having been brought up this way themselves raised me to follow that Nazi-like path from childhood to school days to adulthood where you spend 33% of your life working for the man. That's all fine and dandy for some folks, but it's my version of Hell.

I love my parents a lot and the last thing I want to do is disappoint them. However, there has to be a line drawn at some point. They wouldn't be happy if I quit my job and played poker professionally. What about if I quit my job and started my own business? I doubt it. I'm sure if it was a success, but if it failed, then that's what I get for bucking the trend. I'm 30 years old and there is so much I haven't tried because I was following this path my parents lead me down. Blindly I followed that path until I got to this destination where I am today...Hell. Their answer to my problems is "Get another job".

I've chosen a lifestyle to that would make my parents proud (for the most part). I've done the school thing. I've done the good grades thing. I've done the job thing. I'm sure it makes them all warm and cozy inside saying "My son is a computer programmer". Now, I'm getting older and responsibilities pile up and now here I sit having to have this job to survive in life. It's a road that I'm frantically trying to get off of.

I guess things will start with my being "bad debt" free. Not having to be a slave to pay off my debts opens me up to more options. For 1 thing, I don't need as much money every month to live. Secondly, I can save money a lot easier, which will help me get out of the rat race in the long run. But the question is "What do I want out of life?".

Pauly's response to this questions was "I just want to write and be left alone". I can simplify that response to work for me: "I just want to be left alone". I sit down on my couch last night with my guitar and after about 2 hours, I realized that this was as much fun as I had all week. No worries, nobody bugging me, just be banging away at the guitar and sometimes making pleasing sounds come out.

It's all fine and dandy to make someone else happy or proud of you, but I honestly can't sacrifice any more of my time to please other people...family or not. Life is too short to live like this. Changes are coming.