Good news from the Doc

The news of high potassium really had me worried.  I googled about it and saw nothing good at all.  Basically it had to do with my heart.  Too much is deadly.  Plain and simple.  I used my “I thought Potassium was a good thing” joke on the lab work lady and she took me to school a little bit as well.  Too much and you die, too little and you die.  There was also some talk about electrolytes and kidneys.  She looked at my results from my first test and said “So your potassium was a little… well yours was ugly”.

So I’m waiting all day yesterday on the results of my redone lab work.  I’m on pins and needles really.  Every time I moved, I expected to kill over.  I felt like Fred. G. Sanford.  I’m coming to see ya Elizabeth!

Finally I got fed up and called the doctors office.  Best I could do was get them to send a message to the doctor to call me back.  I understood, the doc is busy.  I don’t want to piss her off or she might stick her finger up my ass on the next visit.  On the other hand, she is pretty hot, so a little finger to ass play might not be so bad. 

After another couple hours with no call, I broke out the big guns.  I called my Mommy.  My Mother was perfect for this task.  She can go into Bitch Beast Mode in a hurry.  She called and at least got them to put her on hold.  But then, they left her on hold….for about a half hour.  Then cut her off and closed up the office without even giving her the courtesy of telling them they were closing and not able to get the information she needed.  So I guess she unleashed the fury on the this morning. 

So Mom’s in Beast Mode, I’m about to kill over and die at any second because I ate one too many bananas, and these assholes at the free clinic are dicking me around.  By the way, our health system is fucked. When all was said and done, my potassium was normal.  The results from the first test were inaccurate.  I wasn’t going to kill over at any second…. at least not from that.