One of the most frustrating things about poker is actually finding time to play. I’ve pretty much turned poker from a hobby into a semi-profession, then back into a hobby again over the years. These days poker is more like a video game for me. However, I struggle to find time to play.
I really thought the lack of a television would help me play countless hands over the course of the summer months. Unfortunately, all it did is give me more of an urge to venture outdoors. I’ve been choosing baseball and softball games over sitting on my ass playing poker. That’s a good thing for socializing and just overall health, but it doesn’t help the bankroll.
As bad as I hate to sound like a typical poker idiot, I still would like to play this game for a living. I’m getting to a point in my life where that window to allow me to do so is closing. Actually, I cracked open the window a bit more this year when I dropped the hammer on most of my debts. But I’m not getting any younger.
The problem is that I have not proved myself a winner in poker. I could make a decent wage just playing $1/2 NL if I was a moderate winner at the stakes. I wouldn’t be a balla or anything like that, but I’d be pulling in more income than what I pull now.
It's a little known secret that I hate my line of work. I knew as soon as I slid off my cap and gown after college graduation that I made a mistake. I've pursued other lines of work and even had other offers, but I've passed because I knew a new job would not make me any happier. I longed for freedom.
When I sit down and think about life and my future, I get nothing but a cloud of smoke to come out of my ears. I don't know what I want out of life. I'm 30 years old. Other 30 somethings around me are settling down, getting married, having kids. 2 years ago, I'd have taken a bullet to the brain over that lifestyle. Now... it looks like a viable option. This means the window is closing.
Oh how sweet it would be to walk into work one day (fuck that $4/gallon gas means I'd be calling into work) and tell the boss to suck it. However, that's just a pipe dream right now. A figment of my imagination. Next week, I might not have the urge to play poker ever again...but in my experience, the urge is always there... it's just that real life and my job always get 1st priority.
So, this poker journey is a quest of my will and determination to make something better of my life. I have no problems working on my game. I love becoming a better poker player. 2008 Predator314 could crush 2004 Predator314 on the tables. However, 2008 version is playing in tougher games.
I need a gameplan if I would like to make this my career. It's not like I can drop everything this instant and start grinding out mortgage payments. I don't have the bankroll to properly grind the stakes I want to play. I also haven't proven myself to be much of a winner lately, but that is changing. I'm playing poker on a whole new level lately and the results are finally showing. The micros seem like child's play when I sit down. I'm more patient, pay more attention, and less prone to auto-pilot syndrome. Now I just need to keep improving and become a solid winner.
I'm playing $25NL right now. In a few short hands, I'll be moving to $50NL. After that, it's $100NL, then $200NL. 3 short stops between now and where I would like to be to start my new hypothetical career. It's not like I can just have $8000 in my bankroll and say "Hey I got 20 buyins for $1/2, let's do it!". I need some sort of cushion to fall back on. I'd prefer having 2 years worth of salary to fall back on. Realistically, I could get by with 1 when you factor in rakeback, savings on gasoline, etc. I live in smalltown, WV and frankly, it's just not expensive to live here. You make $50K/year and you are doing well. I shoot for $100K of course.
So the gameplan right now is just to grind it out. Get my hands in and keep learning. If I keep doing these things, the bankroll will follow. It has before and I'm a much better player now than I was then. I need to quit trying to find time for poker and instead make time for it. If I want to do this bad enough, I will make time.
The whole point of this post is that poker could be my way out. I’m not sure poker is the answer to all my problems or anything like that and I do realize what kind of grind that poker can be. However, when you compare that grind with my current grind, it doesn’t look so bad. If I had 2 years of expense money to fall back on, I know I could play good poker and enjoy life for at least 2 years anyway. During these 2 years, I would have the freedom to figure out what I want to do with my life.
Another pipe dream post from Predator314 :)
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